


The Long Proposal

by faequeentitania



Category: Agents of Cracked, Cracked - Ambiguous Fandom, Cracked.com
Genre: Fluff, Light Angst, Love, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Mushy, Post-Canon, Romance, Wedding Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-08
Updated: 2019-03-08
Packaged: 2019-11-13 19:23:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18037373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faequeentitania/pseuds/faequeentitania
Summary: Michael didn’t think about things before he jumped into them, it was kind of his trademark. Whatever came into his brain he ran with, ergo why Dan had been hired to look after him in the first place.So it shouldn’t have surprised him, really, when Michael asked him to marry him after only a month together on the east coast.





	The Long Proposal

**Author's Note:**

> I've been sitting on this fic since December of 2016, apparently? It is astonishingly mushy, maybe I was too embarrassed to post it back then. Not anymore!! Bring on the mush!

Michael didn’t think about things before he jumped into them, it was kind of his trademark. Whatever came into his brain he ran with, ergo why Dan had been hired to look after him in the first place.

So it shouldn’t have surprised him, really, when Michael asked him to marry him after only a month together on the east coast.

Dan felt a tiny bit guilty saying no, even though that was unquestionably the right decision. It was just the fact that Michael had filled their apartment with balloons and made a banner and used a ridiculous, gaudy costume ring, going down on one knee and everything.

Once Dan’s brain actually processed what was going on, he pulled Michael to his feet and made him sit on the sofa with him.

“I’m not marrying you right now, Michael,” Dan said gently, holding both of Michael’s hands in his own and stroking the backs of them with his thumbs.

“I’m not saying never,” he added rapidly at the devastated look that crossed Michael’s features, squeezing his hands. "I just... think it’s too soon for us, okay? Give me some time. Give _yourself_ some time.”

“Dan,” Michael huffed. "We’ve been together for three years, I think that’s plenty of time.”

“Just because we’ve been partners for three years doesn’t mean we’ll be good at _this,_ ” Dan released one of Michael’s hands and gestured between them. "It’s different, Michael. This is different than just working together.”

Michael sighed, looking dejected and morose and Dan felt guilty; he pushed that emotion down as sternly as possible. This was the right choice.

“Hey,” Dan said gently, reaching up to cup Michael’s cheek and stroking his thumb over his cheekbone. "I care about you too much to risk messing it up, rushing to do something we’re not ready for.”

“ _You’re_ not ready for,” Michael insisted, and Dan shrugged one shoulder.

“I’m not ready,” he acknowledged. "So just... put it on the backburner for now, okay? And next time...”

He looked around the room with an amused sigh. "Scale it back. I don’t want an engagement ring, I don’t want decorations and banners... I don’t need all this stuff. I just want you to ask me, and it just be about us, no grand gestures. Deal?”

Michael sighed dramatically. "You’re so _boring_ sometimes, Dan.”

“Sorry,” Dan said with a sad little smile. "I’m afraid so.”

“Fine,” Michael sighed again. "I’ll do your boring proposal next time.”

“Thank you,” Dan leaned forward and kissed him, squeezing his hand gently. "But not for a long while, alright? Not ready, remember that.”

“Yeah,” Michael grumbled. "Guess I should cancel the Mariachi band that’s waiting outside?”

“I’d say so, yeah,” Dan nodded, not even really surprised, honestly.

“Boring,” Michael grumbled again, but got up to do it anyway.

The second time was three months after that, and at least Michael listened to him about not making it into a spectacle.

He was, however, still balls deep in Dan and only about five seconds outside of them both coming.

“Marry me,” Michael panted into the damp space behind Dan’s ear, rubbing his mouth there like he wanted the words to be absorbed by Dan’s skin. "Marry me, Daniel.”

Dan groaned, his whole body still shaking and their combined sweat making his skin slick, especially where Michael was pressed all along his back. "No, Michael.”

“But you said-”

“I said not for a long while.”

“It has been a long while! _Ages._ ”

“No,” Dan said again, his fingers curling tighter around Michael’s arm where it was wrapped around his waist. "Not yet.”

Michael made a frustrated sound in his throat and Dan angled his head to the side, seeking Michael’s mouth.

“We’ve got our whole lives, Michael. Give me some time.”

Michael sighed, but kissed Dan anyway.

“Fine.”

“I love you.”

“Love you too.”

It wasn’t that Dan didn’t like the idea of being married. He was a little conservative in the sense that he never really devoted much energy to casual sex, even in college. The women he pursued were always people he wanted to romance, not just have a quick fuck with in the dormitory showers.

So it wasn’t that he feared being “pinned down.” It was that he feared that Michael would decide one day that he didn’t want to be pinned to Dan. That Dan was too boring, or too anxious, or unfunny, or any combination of things that Dan believed about himself.

Some days Dan genuinely wondered why Michael wanted him. He looked at Michael and all the extraordinary things he was and couldn’t believe that the man had loved him enough to follow him across the country. Why did Michael even want to be with him, let alone marry him?

And what about his “homeless wife” back on the west coast? Somehow Dan doubted that Michael had ever “officially” married anyone, but Dan _could_ believe that Michael saw her as his wife just because she happened to live in the same house and was willing to have sex with him.

Michael’s brain worked in ways that were still mysterious to Dan, so what was to say that he wasn’t asking Dan to “marry” him for the same reasons? Was it just because he was under the impression that that was what people who lived together automatically did?

Those were fears that plagued him constantly. He was always afraid that he would wake up one morning and Michael would be gone, never to be seen by Dan again because he got bored or found someone better. Someone who didn’t tell him he had to pick his clothes up off the floor or turn off lights when he left a room. Someone who would want to get high with him and eat cheese puffs for dinner and call that nutrition.

So every time Michael asked him to marry him, he said no. Out of fear, out of doubt, out of the horrible, desperate love he felt for Michael that didn’t want to see him come to regret picking Dan.

But still Michael kept asking. There didn’t seem to be any discernable pattern or trigger to dictate when he would ask (at least that Dan could see, but who knew with Michael. Maybe he asked whenever there was an avalanche on Mt Everest, or whenever a new species was discovered in the Amazon; it was hard to tell what Michael was in tune with.)

“Will you marry me?” Michael asked as Dan cleaned a nasty gash on his cheek; the result of Michael trying to learn how to juggle knives because he was an idiot.

Dan was so angry. He’d had to bunch a kitchen towel to Michael’s face and command him to _Hold it there, Michael. Do not move it until I come back_ before going to the bathroom and getting the first aid kit. But before he could go back out again, he’d had to splash cold water on his face and count backwards from ten very slowly, taking deep, calming breaths while he did it. If he hadn’t, he might have strangled his partner instead of tending to his wound.

“No, I will not,” Dan answered curtly, his fingers bloody as he pinched Michael’s skin together and applied a butterfly bandage.

Michael frowned, and Dan wiped away a stray drip of blood from Michael’s cut before reaching for another butterfly.

“When will you say yes, Dan?” Michael asked dejectedly, and Dan didn’t have the patience to baby him right now.

“Never, if you keep doing shit like this,” he said, tone flat and frustrated.

Michael literally turned white, and Dan had a brief moment of panic that he was bleeding from somewhere Dan couldn’t see, and was about to pass out from blood loss.

“Don’t say that,” Michael whispered, reaching up and gripping the cuff of Dan’s shirt in a tight fist. Dan hadn’t seen him look so frightened or desperate since the moments before Dan’s resolve had crumbled and he had asked him to come along with him to the east coast. "Dan, please, don’t say that. I’m sorry. Don’t leave.”

Dan’s anger dissolved into a queasy pit of anxiety in the bottom of his stomach in record time. Part of him hated that Michael could do that to him; could turn something that was perfectly reasonable to be angry about and make Dan put it aside to handle Michael’s emotional crisis.

“I’m not leaving you, Michael,” Dan said seriously, looking straight into his eyes and holding his face between his hands. It left little bloody smears on Michael’s cheeks, but a little blood between them was hardly something new. "I just need you to stop doing dangerous things like this.”

Michael nodded solemnly, but Dan knew it was an empty gesture. Michael was incapable of not doing dangerous things.

He resumed his bandaging under Michael’s piercing stare, and Dan worked really hard to keep his face neutral. He’d have a quiet meltdown later; once Michael had fallen asleep or if he could convinced Michael to leave him alone while he took a shower.

Just another one of the multitude of reasons he was afraid to say yes to Michael. Michael could frighten him so deeply, could make Dan feel vertigo from the sight of his partner bloody and in pain. If it felt like being hit by a train _now_ , how much worse would it be if he looked at Michael and thought _husband_ , instead of simply _partner_?

“I love you,” Michael said after a minute, and Dan glanced away from the bloody gash to look into Michael’s eyes. He looked sad and ashamed and Dan’s heart twisted in his chest.

“I love you too, Michael. Very much.”

“You sure?”

Dan paused, frowning. Michael never asked that. Michael never had doubts about anything, he went through life completely self-assured and blindly faithful that things would always work out for him.

“I love you,” Dan said again, looking into Michael’s eyes and saying every word softly but clearly. "Very much.”

Michael gave a tiny nod, and Dan finished patching him up without another word.

“Marry me, Daniel,” Michael whispered in his ear, curled up behind him as the big spoon in Dan’s hospital bed.

“No,” Dan whispered, too exhausted to even open his eyes.

“Someday?” Michael sighed sadly, and Dan weakly squeezed his fingers around Michael’s hand.

“Someday,” he assured him hoarsely, and Michael sighed again, rubbing his mouth against the back of Dan’s neck.

Maybe it was the fever talking, but Dan was thinking that someday was coming up fast.

Dan was the king of soldiering on. When he felt poorly, he just stuffed himself full of cold medicine and pushed through his day. It was what he had been doing since middle school, when he was so anxious about his grades that the idea of missing school for even the most severe of colds made him want to throw up.

So that’s what he did this time too, and there was no reason for him to think it was any different than his normal soldiering on.

Then he had fainted in the bathroom, right in the middle of brushing his teeth.

He came to with Michael hovering over him, looking scared to death and saying his name loud and panicked. He helped Dan to his feet and begrudgingly held him upright as Dan insisted on rinsing the toothpaste out of his mouth.

Dan made Michael take him to bed, instead of the hospital. He convinced himself that he just needed some more cold medicine and a good night’s sleep.

It wasn’t until he was coughing up blood that Dan couldn’t deny something was really wrong.

It took all of his persuasive skills to talk Michael out of carrying him into the emergency room instead of simply allowing Dan to lean on him for support and walk himself.

Four hours of waiting and a handful of tests later, and Dan was assigned a hospital bed. He was being pumped full of antibiotics and saline solution to combat the severe pneumonia that had set up shop in his lungs, and that he had been willfully ignoring.

And Michael was there through it all, looking stressed out and worried like Dan had never seen before, and barely moving far enough away from Dan to let the hospital staff do their jobs.

“You’re not allowed to die,” Michael whispered when he thought Dan was asleep, and Dan didn’t even have a word for the feeling it caused in his heart.

He had convinced himself that the end of them was always just around the corner; that Michael would come to resent him for dragging him a thousand miles away from home, or would get tired of how ordinary Dan was in comparison to him, or would just stop loving him.

But the first time Michael had asked him to marry him was three years ago now, and he hadn’t stopped asking since. Each time was a little more desperate, a little sadder and a little more tired.

He thought it was because Michael was just getting tired of asking, was just plain annoyed and kept asking because he just wanted to see if Dan would ever give him a different answer.

But now... with the way Michael had asked so softly, so heartbrokenly, and was clearly so scared of losing him.... it made him realize just how much every “no” was hurting his partner. How much Michael genuinely loved him, how much they put up with when it came to each other, when it came to the crazy thing between them.

Michael was still there. Through three years and hundreds of frustrations and arguments but also hundreds of “I love you”s and kisses and orgasms. Michael was still there, and still asking, and Dan didn’t know why he was saying “no” anymore.

 _Not like this, though,_ he thought, shivering with fever chills and barely able to take a full breath, _I’m not saying yes while I can barely open my eyes._

It was like a weight was lifted off his shoulders. Like the clarity of the world coming into focus when he put his glasses on in the morning. Knowing that “yes” was going to come out of his mouth the next time Michael asked.

Of course, Michael didn’t ask again until that summer. The idea of asking Michael instead crossed his mind, but it didn’t feel right, to rob Michael of that. Not when Dan had said no for so long.

So he waited.

They were celebrating Michael’s birthday. Dan went and bought him a cake with his name on it and everything, and little paper plates with X-Men on them with matching, child-sized party hats.

Michael fit as many of them onto his head as possible, and it looked ridiculous and painfully endearing and was just the epitome of Michael.

The cake was called “Death by Chocolate” and Michael’s eyes had lit up when he saw it.

They were complete nerds and did the whole nine, putting a bunch of candles into it and turning the kitchen lights out to sing “Happy Birthday.”

Michel licked the icing off the candles as they pulled them off and put them aside, and Dan kept stealing glances at him, his heart feeling full and raw with love for this man.

“What did you wish for?” Dan couldn't help but ask as he cut the cake, making sure to give Michael the piece with the most icing.

Michael winked at him as he picked up a fork. "Can't tell you or it won't come true, Dan. You know the rules!”

Dan smiled and rolled his eyes, taking a piece for himself.

“Well, as long as it doesn't involve mass destruction, I hope it comes true,” Dan smiled, and Michael gave him a little smile back.

“I do too,” he said, his voice wistful and a little sad, and Dan’s heart fluttered. He had a feeling he knew Michael’s wish.

 _Ask me,_ he thought, taking a bite of cake and watching Michael do the same. It was delicious cake, he had to say.

He pulled all the party hats off of Michael’s head after the rest of the cake was put away and they were settling into bed for a Netflix marathon that was inevitably going to turn into a very different activity. Dan was looking forward to it.

“Dan,” Michael was sitting cross-legged on the bed as Dan plugged in the laptop, and Dan stopped as he looked at him.

He looked sad and quiet in a way that was so opposite to his normally boisterous nature, and Dan straightened up slowly and got onto the bed. He didn’t answer right away, instead opting to climb into Michael’s lap, his knees on either side of Michael’s hips and his arms around his neck.

“Yes, Michael,” he said quietly, and Michael rubbed his hands up and down Dan’s sides gently.

“I love you,” Michael sighed, angling his head up to plant a kiss on Dan’s mouth, and Dan hummed softly as he kissed back.

“I love you too, Michael,” he replied quietly, stroking his fingers over Michael’s hair and squeezing Michael’s hips with his knees. "So much.”

“You sure?” Michael asked, only the second time he had ever asked that question, and it made Dan’s chest hurt.

“I love you,” he said again, just like last time. "So fucking much, Michael. Always.”

Michael gave a sad little smile, and Dan’s heart beat hard in his chest.

 _Ask me,_ he thought again. _Ask me, ask me, ask me._

“Anyway,” Michael put on a big smile. "Let’s watch something. Netflix and chill, or whatever the kids are calling it these days?”

“No,” the word was out of his mouth before he had even thought about it, and Michael’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“You don’t want to anymore?”

“I want...” Dan closed his eyes and pressed their foreheads together, his arms squeezing around Michael’s shoulders tightly. "Fuck, Mike, ask me.”

Michael rubbed his hands up and down Dan’s back, and Dan knew he didn’t _get_ it, not yet.

“Ask what?”

“The question you’re always asking and I always say no to. Ask me again, Michael. Please.”

A couple more confused seconds, then Michael’s body went tense and his breath went tight.

“Dan...” Michael whispered, and Dan kissed him shakily.

“Ask me,” he said again, and Michael pushed him back, putting enough space between them to look at his face.

“Marry me,” Michael said simply, looking into his eyes intently. " _Daniel._ Marry me. Please.”

Dan nodded, breathing out unsteadily. "Yes.”

“Please don’t be joking,” Michael said hoarsely, and Dan shook his head.

“Not,” he said seriously. "Yes, Michael, I will marry you.”

The next thing he knew he was on his back on the bed, and Dan knew they were skipping the Netflix part of the evening. Honestly, he couldn’t be terribly bothered to care.

As far as the world was concerned, they were dead. Mostly, Dan was fine with that. It did make him a little sad that they wouldn’t be able to actually, legally get married, but at the end of the day it didn’t matter all that much, really.

They decided to just exchange rings and vows and a kiss at the local park. It was a place they went to frequently; there were nice hiking trails and a pretty gazebo out in the midsts of the trees.

It was just going to be them, just a little moment between the two of them that no one else would be privy to or care about, but Michael wanted to dress up anyway, and Dan indulged him.

He didn’t expect the emotional punch to the chest he would feel when he exited the bathroom to find Michael completely dressed in a sharp, beautiful tuxedo.

He froze, just staring, and Michael fiddled nervously with his cufflinks.

“Dan?” he prompted uneasily when Dan just continued to stare at him without saying a word.

“You look gorgeous,” Dan breathed, and Michael actually _blushed._

“Thank you,” he beamed. "Come on, go put yours on too!”

Dan hurriedly zipped into their bedroom to do just that, and Michael’s smile when he saw him could have illuminated the whole state.

“We’re leaving as much of these tux’s on as humanly possible when we fuck later,” Michael informed him with a waggle of his eyebrows, and Dan blushed and chortled.

“Shut up, Michael. Let’s just get married, alright?”

“After you,” Michael gestured grandly toward the door, and Dan rolled his eyes as he walked past him, picking up the pack of battery-powered twinkle lights as he went.

It was late at night as they made their way through the park to the gazebo, and Dan only regretted the tuxedos in so much in that he was going to be quite sweaty by the time they were done. Worth it, to see Michael looking so sharp.

Together, they strung up the lights and flipped them on, illuminating the gazebo with a soft glow.

“Perfect,” Michael said with a smile, and Dan had to agree.

**“It’s a little insulting to get married without inviting your father, Michael.”**

They both jumped as the Chief’s voice came out of the darkness, and Dan put a hand over his heart as he stepped out of the shadows.

“GASP! The Chief!” Michael said. "What are you doing here?”

 **“My son is getting married,”** the Chief said. **"You think I wouldn’t hear about that?”**

“Aw!” Michael said, putting both hands over his heart. "That’s sweet.”

 **“And he’s about to do it all wrong,”** the Chief continued, making Michael’s smile slip.

“We’re dead,” Dan interjected. "We can’t get married the way most people do.”

 **“Not what I’m talking about,”** the Chief growled, making the hair on the back of Dan’s neck stand up. **"I’m talking about a proper _Chief’s_ ceremony.”**

“Oh,” Dan said simply, surprised.

 **“Just stand together, numbskulls,”** the Chief sighed, and Dan and Michael exchanged a look. Michael shrugged, and Dan shrugged back before the two of them moved to stand together in front of the Chief.

 **“Now then,”** the Chief said curtly. **“Hold out your hands.”**

Hesitantly, Dan did as he was told, and so did Michael.

“Ah!” he cried out a second later, as a cut appeared across the length of their palms.

 **“Don’t be a pussy,”** the Chief growled. **"take each other’s hands.”**

“But-”

**“Just do it, O’Brien.”**

With a frustrated sigh Dan reached out and took the bloody hand Michael had extended to him. Wasn’t the first time Michael’s blood was mixed with Dan’s, and probably not the last.

 **“Say your vows,”** the Chief said, and his rough timbre was gentler now. **"Go on, Chew Toy.”**

Dan took a deep breath, willing himself to look at Michael’s face. He was nervous all of a sudden; when the vows were just going to be between the two of them he felt fine, but now that there was an unexpected audience he felt his nerves starting to fizzle under the pressure.

“Hey,” Michael said softly, and Dan blinked at the soft smile on his partner’s face. "I love you.”

Dan smiled, squeezing their bleeding hands a little tighter. It stung, and it made him focus, and the anxiety lessened. Everything was going to be fine.

“You drive me so crazy,” Dan started, smiling a little wider and Michael smirked. "and I thought for a really long time that I could never be with someone who drove me crazy. I thought that I needed safe, and quiet, and mellow. Then I met you, and you were so strange, and loud, and dangerous. Everything I had been avoiding my whole life. And you made me realize that the reason I had been avoiding all those things for so long wasn’t that I didn’t like them; it was because I liked them too much. It’s an addiction that I can’t get enough of, and I have no intention to quit.”

Dan reached out and took Michael’s other hand, squeezing it tightly. "I promise that I will never quit you, Michael. I will never stop needing you, never stop loving you, never stop wanting every adventure we make together. Until the day I die, no matter what trouble you get us into, I will never quit.”

Dan released Michael’s non-bleeding hand again to reach into his pocket, pulling out the simple, gold band and sliding it onto Michael’s finger carefully.

The Chief wordlessly tied a white, soft cord around Dan’s wrist, and Dan raised his eyebrows questioningly. Instead of explaining, the Chief turned to Michael.

 **“Your turn, son,”** he prompted, and Michael nodded before blowing out a nervous breath.

“Dan,” Michael started, squeezing Dan’s hand tightly, the gold band on his finger warm and glinting slightly under the twinkle lights. "I never thought you’d say yes to this. I asked so many times I lost count. I just wanted you; from the minute you finally let me kiss you I knew this was all I wanted. You, forever. And now that you’ve finally said yes, I promise I will do everything I can to make you happy. Because nothing makes me happy as much as making you happy.”

Michael beamed, and Dan’s vision went a little blurry. Fuck, he was _not_ going to cry in front of the Chief.

“I promise to love you even when you’re mad at me,” Michael winked, and Dan gave a watery laugh. "I’m sure about a lot of things, Dan, but the thing I’m most sure of in the world is how much I love you. And I’m sure that you love me. And there’s nothing else in the universe that matters to me as much as that does.”

Michael reached into his pocket and pulled out the gold band, sliding it onto Dan’s hand as the Chief tied the other end of the rope around Michael’s wrist.

Dan’s skin tingled as the Chief began to speak in a language he was unfamiliar with, and he gasped a few moments later as the cuts on their hands disappeared, along with the rope.

 **“Congratulations,”** the Chief rumbled a moment later. **"You’re married.”**

“Yay!” Michael cheered gleefully, grabbing Dan around the waist and dipping him dramatically to plant a hard kiss on his lips.

Dan squeaked, gripping Michael’s shoulders tightly and kissing him back as joyful butterflies danced about his insides.

His head was swimming by the time Michael pulled him upright, and he jumped a little when the Chief patted him on the shoulder.

 **“Good luck, Chew Toy,”** the Chief said, but it sounded fond. **"Take care of him.”**

“I always do, sir,” Dan smiled, glancing at Michael, who winked at him.

 **“Treat him well, Michael,”** the Chief gripped Michael’s shoulder in turn. **"I don’t think I’ll be able to find another one as good as him again.”**

Dan blushed and Michael gave the Chief a thumbs up and a grin.

Dan blinked, and the Chief was gone.

“Huh,” Dan said simply, and Michael’s arm squeezed around his waist.

“Home, husband?” Michael asked with a bright smile, and Dan’s heart fluttered. He liked that.

“Home,” Dan agreed, rubbing his thumb over the new ring on his finger.

“Hey,” Michael nudged, then angled his head down to kiss him. It was warm and soft and sweet, and Dan wanted a million more. "I love you.”

“I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Man I miss Cracked. And I miss writing for this fandom, I'm glad I found this lost fic in my Google drive.


End file.
